It’s all about me
By Dick Olenych, Inside Business - Hampton Roads - 5/20/2008
[Some text edited by S. Derksen]
I’m an average Joe. No better or worse than you.
I will tell you though I’ve had a pretty…uh…interesting life. And it has given me a different view of the world then most people. And because of all of that I believe…it’s all about me.
It’s my philosophy. And it’s a philosophy that has created an environment of exceptional customer service.
Will you please give me a just a couple of sentences to make this point a bit clearer?
When I was little my parents fought a lot. We moved around from house to house, sometimes with the police not too far behind. I know a couple of times when it was just Mom and us we had to go on welfare. Other times it was just plain crazy with lots of screaming and yelling.
My parents eventually divorced and things started to get normal. That didn’t last too long because it was interrupted when my dad died. I was a sophomore in high school and we had to move yet again to another state, closer to my aunts and uncles. About a year later my mom withered away from cancer.
By my senior year in high school I was on my own. I lived in an apartment we called “The Toe”. It was short for the ghetto and it lived down to its name. It was a dump. But, remember it’s all about me.
I went to a very good college though, as a minority. I dated the Vice President of the United State’s daughter while I was there. She was nice. College was pretty crazy. I was totally out of control. I made tons of friends, though. My family still vacations with some of those friends every year.
There’s a lot of world out there and I’ve seen some of it. I’ve lived with the Samburu warriors of East Africa. They are very genuine. I have also lived in a tent in Alaska. At one time I even had a job bartending on top of Vail Mountain. Remember, it’s all about me.
I now live in a modest home…on the water. I even have a dock and a Jet Ski. I built the dock myself. I like to build things that last.
I really have a great life. I truly appreciate everything that I have. My family is wonderful. I have great kids and a beautiful loving wife of twenty-two years. She sometimes calls me Jim.
She recently battled breast cancer. It ripped my heart out to see her suffer. That is what it is because remember, it’s all about ME.
Ladies and gentlemen, life is sometimes tough. At other times it’s very generous.
We must not let the pain of our past or the fear of the future distract us from positively effecting the people around us. We owe it to ourselves, and to our organizations to attack the day without shouldering our personal burdens. I personally, know that this can sometimes be very difficult.
Please remember. That we also must not allow the tapestry of success insulate us from our moral obligation to our organizations, our people, our customers. I am no better than the man shining shoes or the roofer swinging a hammer.
In the early morning hours before daylight as I’m listening to my bride’s breathing I decide who I will be. While I remember my history I do not let it cloud the bright hopes of a new day. I also realize that my comforts do not segregate me from the compassion that others need. Everyday I decide who I will be and how I will affect those around me. Because it is, “all about me.”
As individuals we must be strong and diligent in our support of our loved ones. Yes we also have to keep both eyes on personal finance especially in tough times. But greed will never consume me.
It’s not easy balancing compassion with strength, consideration with personal goals or empathy with pressure to perform. But we must. It is our duty - yeah, I like that word. It is our duty to others, to think of them first.
Remember we have a choice every day of who we are going to be and I choose to believe it’s all about…
Making the RIGHT decisions. Every day.
Dick Olenych is the author of Joe Sails and an owner of Spectrum Printing. He can be reached at dick@joesails.info.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Work/life balance. Goals, dreams and expectations.
Hello everyone,
It has been a while since I have posted a blog.
I have been very busy traveling between Europe and the USA lately and just didn't find time to get it done. It was hard to combine the me with the professional me.
It turns out that that is exactly what I'm writing this blog about (but perhaps in a more philosophical context):
Balance.
Work life en social life.
Finding a way to connect personal dreams with your professional career and your professional dreams with your social well-being.
After all, I am a partner, son, father, brother, friend, colleague, boss, professional and a whole lot with more specific characteristics. All of which are 'roles' to fulfill at full satisfaction. I'm here to meet and exceed expectations. As a person. Not just in my job.
So.... who are you? Which roles do you have?
Sounds pretty heavy perhaps, but the reality is that we all have relationships, professional or personal, in which the 'other party' has an expectation. Over years, those expectations partly build your image and identity to the outside world. They become you, so to speak. Because they reflect your goals and dreams and your ability to achieve those in the minds of the people you are connected with. Often we know relatively well what we want, but have you ever asked yourself what others may be expecting from you?
Perhaps a long prelude, but here's where I wanted to get into the work/life balance:
The me-athlete and the corporate athlete need to be in sync with your environment.
If your milestones and achievements as a social and professional individual are connected with the expectations that others may have from you, you will be more successful in both your relationships and your career.
So....it's important to find out what standards to maintain, what expectations to meet or exceed.
Both as a professional as well as a private individual.
The goals and dreams that previous blog posts described, are goals and dreams that should be united for everyone as a person. Not just as a professional.
Be a successful individual, rather than a successful professional with a miserable social life.
Or a relatively happy individual with a pretty mediocre career (if you want a career that is).
Think about what you'd like to achieve both as a professional and an individual. As a person.
Ask your friends, your family, your partner what they expect from you. Long term. Not just today. Reward yourself for attaining goals. Set milestones for you as a friend, partner, father, son, brother etc as well as setting milestones in your career.
New concept to you?
Yes, probably to some. Most people plan their careers pretty extensively.
But have you thought about what you mean to others outside of work?
What can you do to mean more to them? Does your circle of 'friends and family' include people that are destructive to you or your dreams? Should you make decisions about who really is your friend and who isn't or shouldn't be? Do you have friends that are really important to you, but you haven't really told them lately? Is your partner expecting things from you that you may not be aware of or may not be willing to fulfill? Did you tell him/her that?
Starting with the end of the road in sight (see previous post) really means starting with you as a person and including everything you do in life and what you mean to others as an individual over the long haul.
Start asking those questions. Write your own expectations.
Commit to next steps and hold yourself accountable for them.
Write a letter to yourself, give it to a good friend and ask that friend to mail it to you exactly one year from today.
After review - did you live by your own rules?
Did you find a balance between you as a professional and you as an individual?
Did you improve or deepen your relationships?
It has been a while since I have posted a blog.
I have been very busy traveling between Europe and the USA lately and just didn't find time to get it done. It was hard to combine the me with the professional me.
It turns out that that is exactly what I'm writing this blog about (but perhaps in a more philosophical context):
Balance.
Work life en social life.
Finding a way to connect personal dreams with your professional career and your professional dreams with your social well-being.
After all, I am a partner, son, father, brother, friend, colleague, boss, professional and a whole lot with more specific characteristics. All of which are 'roles' to fulfill at full satisfaction. I'm here to meet and exceed expectations. As a person. Not just in my job.
So.... who are you? Which roles do you have?
Sounds pretty heavy perhaps, but the reality is that we all have relationships, professional or personal, in which the 'other party' has an expectation. Over years, those expectations partly build your image and identity to the outside world. They become you, so to speak. Because they reflect your goals and dreams and your ability to achieve those in the minds of the people you are connected with. Often we know relatively well what we want, but have you ever asked yourself what others may be expecting from you?
Perhaps a long prelude, but here's where I wanted to get into the work/life balance:
The me-athlete and the corporate athlete need to be in sync with your environment.
If your milestones and achievements as a social and professional individual are connected with the expectations that others may have from you, you will be more successful in both your relationships and your career.
So....it's important to find out what standards to maintain, what expectations to meet or exceed.
Both as a professional as well as a private individual.
The goals and dreams that previous blog posts described, are goals and dreams that should be united for everyone as a person. Not just as a professional.
Be a successful individual, rather than a successful professional with a miserable social life.
Or a relatively happy individual with a pretty mediocre career (if you want a career that is).
Think about what you'd like to achieve both as a professional and an individual. As a person.
Ask your friends, your family, your partner what they expect from you. Long term. Not just today. Reward yourself for attaining goals. Set milestones for you as a friend, partner, father, son, brother etc as well as setting milestones in your career.
New concept to you?
Yes, probably to some. Most people plan their careers pretty extensively.
But have you thought about what you mean to others outside of work?
What can you do to mean more to them? Does your circle of 'friends and family' include people that are destructive to you or your dreams? Should you make decisions about who really is your friend and who isn't or shouldn't be? Do you have friends that are really important to you, but you haven't really told them lately? Is your partner expecting things from you that you may not be aware of or may not be willing to fulfill? Did you tell him/her that?
Starting with the end of the road in sight (see previous post) really means starting with you as a person and including everything you do in life and what you mean to others as an individual over the long haul.
Start asking those questions. Write your own expectations.
Commit to next steps and hold yourself accountable for them.
Write a letter to yourself, give it to a good friend and ask that friend to mail it to you exactly one year from today.
After review - did you live by your own rules?
Did you find a balance between you as a professional and you as an individual?
Did you improve or deepen your relationships?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The View from the End of the Road
Sociologist Anthony Compolo tells of a study in which 50 people, over the age of 95 were asked one question . . .
"If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?"
Three themes quickly emerged:
1) Reflect more
2) Risk more
3) Do more things that would live on after I die
Let's take a quick look at each of these areas:
Reflect more:
A good place to start is Stephen Covey's "7 habits of highly effective people".
In Chapter 2, Covey encourages people to think of what they would want other people to say at their own funeral. The exercise is meant to formulate your goals with the end result in mind.
I am going to warn you up front that this exercise may be difficult and emotionally challenging. I will also promise you that it will get you back on track with purpose and direction!
Risk more:
Les Brown tells us to "Leap and grow your wings on the way down"
Towards the end of George Bernhard Shaw's life, he was asked if he could be born again, and come back as anyone throughout history, who would he choose. Without blinking an eye, he responded "I would like to be born as the man I never was"
Perhaps today is the day we celebrate the birth of the person we never were? Is there one action we could take, right here, right now to welcome that new born into our lives?
Do more things that would live on after I die:
There are a lot of ways to attack this one. This could be anything from building your personal wealth so it can be left to your family or favorite charity to something as simple as encouragement.
Can encouragement live on after we die?
There is a story about two famous authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S Lewis and how the two authors would encourage each other. There are many who believe that had they not encouraged each other the world may not have The Lord of The Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia.
The bottom line: Think about what you want to achieve and DO IT!
(text excerpt from Paul Castain's Sales Playbook blog)
"If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?"
Three themes quickly emerged:
1) Reflect more
2) Risk more
3) Do more things that would live on after I die
Let's take a quick look at each of these areas:
Reflect more:
A good place to start is Stephen Covey's "7 habits of highly effective people".
In Chapter 2, Covey encourages people to think of what they would want other people to say at their own funeral. The exercise is meant to formulate your goals with the end result in mind.
I am going to warn you up front that this exercise may be difficult and emotionally challenging. I will also promise you that it will get you back on track with purpose and direction!
Risk more:
Les Brown tells us to "Leap and grow your wings on the way down"
Towards the end of George Bernhard Shaw's life, he was asked if he could be born again, and come back as anyone throughout history, who would he choose. Without blinking an eye, he responded "I would like to be born as the man I never was"
Perhaps today is the day we celebrate the birth of the person we never were? Is there one action we could take, right here, right now to welcome that new born into our lives?
Do more things that would live on after I die:
There are a lot of ways to attack this one. This could be anything from building your personal wealth so it can be left to your family or favorite charity to something as simple as encouragement.
Can encouragement live on after we die?
There is a story about two famous authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S Lewis and how the two authors would encourage each other. There are many who believe that had they not encouraged each other the world may not have The Lord of The Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia.
The bottom line: Think about what you want to achieve and DO IT!
(text excerpt from Paul Castain's Sales Playbook blog)
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